Divorce and Sibling Bonding: How to Keep Brothers and Sisters United

What Divorce Can Mean for Siblings

When a family goes through a separation or divorce, it doesn’t just affect parents and children individually—it shifts the entire family dynamic. One of the most overlooked impacts is how sibling relationships can change. Brothers and sisters who once played side by side may suddenly live in different homes or feel emotionally distant due to the stress their parents are experiencing. Even without a physical separation, children might respond differently to the situation—becoming more irritable, withdrawn, or protective of one parent over the other.

As a parent trying to stabilize the emotional well-being of your child, you're likely already stretched thin. But helping siblings stay connected during this time isn’t “just another thing” on the to-do list—it can actually be a powerful source of comfort and resilience for your children. In fact, their sibling bond can become a lifeline when the family structure is changing.

The Power of Siblings During Change

Children aged 6 to 12 are navigating big feelings with limited emotional tools. A divorce or separation often magnifies this. But in the turbulence, having a sibling who shares their reality—a friend who understands what it’s like to split time between homes or hear parents argue—can be incredibly grounding.

However, this requires intentional effort. Without care, separation and the tension of loyalty conflicts can erode trust and communication between siblings. One child might align more with one parent, while the other may feel closer to the other, breeding impatience and rivalry. That’s why fostering unity and a sense of emotional teamwork is so essential during and after a divorce.

Encouraging Unity, Even Across Two Homes

If your children are splitting time between parents, consistency and shared routines can go a long way. For example:

• Create weekend rituals: Whether it's pancakes Saturday or movie night Sunday, try to celebrate something as siblings no matter which house they’re in.
• Use tech for connection: Let siblings video call or text each other on days they’re apart. Don’t set too many rules—let them choose what to talk about so their relationship feels like theirs, not yours.
• Coordinate parenting strategies with your ex-partner when possible, especially around bedtime routines, discipline styles, and calendar planning. It’s not about being the same, but about creating enough overlap that kids don’t feel like they’re living two totally separate lives.

You’ll find more practical suggestions in our guide on how to build a strong emotional bond in shared custody.

Managing Rivalry and Emotional Fallout

It’s not uncommon for sibling rivalry to spike during a divorce. Children may compete for attention or try to gain favor with the parent they live with more. One child might act as a caretaker or rule-follower, while another acts out. These are all forms of coping—and they can put a strain on sibling unity.

Instead of punishing this conflict, try to approach it with curiosity. What’s the emotion underneath your child’s frustration with their brother or sister? Are they seeking a sense of fairness? Mourning lost traditions? Scared of losing their place in the family?

Our article on how to calm your child's anger during a divorce offers more insight into decoding these big feelings.

Strengthen Their Inner World—and Their Connection

If you’re noticing emotional withdrawal or if one sibling is shielding you from seeing the other's pain, tools that nurture their emotional world can make a big difference. This is where stories can be powerful—especially shared ones. Reading together or listening to calming stories at bedtime can give siblings a common emotional language and create small emotional anchors from day to day.

The LISN Kids app is a beautifully designed audio series platform for children aged 3 to 12, featuring original audiobooks that support emotional growth and creativity. Families navigating two households can use it as a shared point of connection—kids can discuss stories they've listened to with their sibling, even from afar. It's available on both iOS and Android devices.

Audio stories are particularly helpful for children who may not be enthusiastic readers or who find quiet moments (like bedtime at the other parent’s home) emotionally tough. For more on this, take a look at the emotional benefits of a daily story for children of separated parents.

Build Unity, One Moment at a Time

Keeping siblings close doesn’t require grand gestures. Unity grows through little moments: a shared laugh during cleanup, a whispered conversation after lights-out, a drawing they do together. Your role is to gently create the space for those moments to happen and recognize them when they do.

If you’re feeling unsure about what to say to your children regarding your separation, this article on talking about no longer loving each other may offer useful language to ease that conversation. And if your child voices tough comments, like wanting to live with the other parent, we have support and constructive responses in this thoughtful guide.

Final Thoughts

It’s hard to parent through heartbreak. And you may sometimes feel like you’re putting out fires rather than building anything permanent. But by giving space for your children to continue developing their sibling connection, even in small ways, you’re planting seeds of comfort and security that will grow for years to come.