Why Can’t My Child Sit Still? High Energy or a Hidden Struggle?

When Movement Becomes a Message

You're not alone if you've ever sat with your head in your hands wondering, “Why can’t my child just sit still?” Whether it’s during homework time, at the dinner table, or in class, many parents feel the tension between wanting to support their child and fearing they’re missing something deeper. Is this just normal energy? Or is this a sign of a larger issue, like ADHD or sensory challenges?

The answer isn’t always clear-cut. But learning to decipher what your child is communicating through their constant motion can help you respond with confidence and compassion.

The Line Between Liveliness and Struggle

Children between ages 6 and 12 are not designed to sit still all day. Their bodies are built to move, and their brains are wired to explore. Some kids are naturally more high-energy—it’s just who they are. Others may appear restless because they’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or misunderstood.

But when movement starts to interfere with everyday functioning—when a child can’t finish assignments, disrupts class regularly, or seems physically unable to slow down—it may be time to look closer. As we explore in this compassionate guide to atypical behaviors, what seems like “bad behavior” is often a sign that a child’s nervous system is operating differently.

Not Just Attention-Seeking

It’s easy to assume a squirming or fidgety child is simply trying to get attention or push boundaries. But what if their movement is actually their way of coping? For some children, movement regulates their emotions, helps them focus, or creates a sense of physical security in a chaotic world. Shifting the narrative from “They’re acting out” to “They’re expressing something” changes everything. Explore more about this in this article on understanding behavior as communication.

That doesn’t mean you can’t set limits. But those limits become more effective when they come from a place of curiosity rather than control.

When to Ask for Help

So how can you tell if your child’s fidgeting and bouncing are typical, or something that deserves further evaluation? There’s no perfect checklist, but you may want to consult with a pediatrician or educational psychologist if:

• Your child’s movement seems excessive even in active environments, like the playground.
• They struggle with focus, impulse control, or memory alongside their physical restlessness.
• Teachers regularly mention it’s affecting participation or academics.
• Your child seems frustrated or ashamed of not being able to “keep still.”

In these situations, an assessment may identify something like ADHD, sensory processing differences, or another neurodevelopmental profile. But even without a formal diagnosis, understanding how your child’s brain works can inform how you support them.

You can also explore resources like this conversation around forgetfulness and atypical processing or this piece on kids who think differently.

Creating Space for Movement—Without Chaos

Not every situation requires a clinical label. Sometimes, the answer is simply making space in your child’s day and environment to move more. This doesn’t mean giving up on homework time or family dinner. It means reimagining how those routines are structured.

Here’s what that can look like:

• Letting your child use a wobble stool, stand, or even lie on their stomach while doing homework.
• Building in short “body breaks” every 10–15 minutes during study sessions.
• Offering a fidget tool—something quiet and non-distracting—to help keep hands busy.
• Encouraging daily physical outlets like biking, dancing, or jumping on a trampoline.

Sometimes, even calming sensory input like sounds or stories can help regulate kids who have trouble slowing down. The iOS and Android versions of the LISN Kids app offer a curated collection of original audiobooks and series tailored to children ages 3–12. These stories can be a great transition activity after school, easing the nervous system and giving active bodies a moment of calm.

Embracing the Child You Have

High-energy kids challenge us. They stretch our patience, problem-solving, and our own nervous systems. But they also bring brilliance, originality, and fire to the world. Whether your child’s movement is simply part of their personality or a signal that deeper support is needed, your ability to see them and respond with understanding is where change begins.

If you find yourself worrying, “Why can’t my child just be like the others?”—pause. Then read this article on embracing children who don’t fit the mold. Because the most powerful gift we can offer is not trying to fix who they are, but learning to parent the child in front of us, as they are, with love and presence.