Why Does My Child Forget Everything? Clumsiness or an Atypical Brain?
When forgetting goes beyond a messy backpack
"Did you remember your homework? Where’s your jacket? What do you mean you left your water bottle at school… again?" Sound familiar? If you’re parenting a child between the ages of 6 and 12 who seems to forget everything — from their lunch box to the instructions you gave just five minutes ago — you’re not alone. And you’re not doing anything wrong.
The daily trail of forgotten items, confused schedules, and missed details can feel like a never-ending loop. It can be tempting to chalk it up to laziness, disorganization, or even willful ignorance. But sometimes, forgetfulness isn’t about being careless. Sometimes, it’s a sign that your child’s brain simply works differently.
Understanding the difference: forgetfulness vs. executive function challenges
All kids forget things. It’s an expected part of development. But when forgetting becomes persistent, disruptive, or causes daily stress — for your child and for you — it may be time to look a little deeper.
One key area to consider is executive function. Think of executive function as the brain's air traffic control system — managing tasks like planning, shifting attention, remembering instructions, and regulating behavior. If your child has trouble in any of these areas, forgetfulness might be one of the first signs you notice.
Disrupted executive function is common in children with ADHD, autism spectrum conditions, and other learning differences. But here’s where it gets tricky: you don’t need a diagnosis for these challenges to exist. Many neurodivergent kids remain undiagnosed but still struggle quietly with the way their brains process everyday life.
In this helpful article on giving instructions, we talk more about how a child's unique thinking style may influence how well they follow directions or retain details.
When forgetting leads to frustration
For you as a parent, it might feel like your child is ignoring you or not trying. But for your child, the experience is often very different. Imagine how it feels to be constantly reminded — or scolded — about things you never intended to forget. Over time, this can lead to feelings of shame, low confidence, and even anxiety around school or home routines.
Try gently observing how your child responds when you bring up something they forgot. Do they get defensive? Embarrassed? Apologetic? These reactions might show that it’s not about motivation — it’s about wiring.
If your child zones out in class or seems overwhelmed easily, consider exploring this article on classroom focus, which delves into what might be happening beneath the surface.
Supporting your child's unique brain
The first, and possibly most important, thing you can do for a chronically forgetful child is shift the lens through which you view their behavior. While reminders and routines help, they work better when paired with empathy and a willingness to adapt your expectations.
Here are some supportive ways to help your child navigate forgetfulness:
- Use visual and tactile cues: A color-coded calendar, visual checklists, or a reminder bracelet can do wonders for externalizing what their brain might struggle to hold onto internally.
- Build transitional rituals: Create habits for leaving the house or wrapping up homework that engage multiple senses — saying things aloud, touching objects, or using music are all effective tools for many kids.
- Separate the behavior from the person: Instead of “You’re so forgetful,” try “It looks like today was a tough day to remember everything. Let’s figure it out together.”
And maybe most importantly, recognize that your child may feel just as frustrated as you — or more. Creating a calm, non-judgmental environment is sometimes the most therapeutic thing you can do.
It’s not always a problem to solve — sometimes it’s just how they are
Some kids live in their own rhythm. School demands a particular kind of sequence — bell-to-bell transitions, tight deadlines, multitasking — and not all brains are built to thrive in that environment.
A beautiful reflection on this idea comes from the article "What if My Child Isn’t Lazy, Just Out of Sync With School?". It explores how some children, especially those who seem spaced out or slow to respond, might simply have minds that process the world differently.
Rather than “fix” your child to better suit the system, consider how you can adjust their surroundings to better support them — at home, and in partnership with their school.
Helping children reconnect with memory through story and routine
Memory isn’t just about mental to-do lists — it also includes emotion, narrative, and attention. One gentle way to scaffold memory for your child is by strengthening these connections outside of stressful academic contexts. Story-based tools — like engaging audiobooks — can offer meaningful structure without pressure.
The LISN Kids app (also available on Android) offers original audio stories and enriching series designed specifically for children ages 3 to 12. These stories invite children to tune in, follow along, and practice attention and listening skills — all while having fun and winding down. Many families include it in bedtime rituals or quiet time during homework breaks.

Final thought: curious minds forget, too
What if your child isn’t careless or clumsy — but incredibly curious? What if their mind is wandering to ideas, stories, questions, and puzzles the world hasn’t even asked yet? Forgetfulness can sometimes be the cost of a wonderfully busy, imaginative mind.
That doesn’t mean you should let routines slip or accept daily chaos. But maybe, just maybe, forgetfulness isn’t always a deficit. Sometimes, it’s simply a different way of navigating the world. And your job isn’t to fix it — it’s to help your child find their rhythm within it.
For more on supporting kids who are wired differently, check out this reflection on distraction in the classroom, and why some children talk constantly when their thoughts overflow.