When Your Child Sulks After Losing: How to Encourage Them to Keep Playing

Understanding the Emotional Weight of Losing

You’ve probably been there: it’s game night, you're gathered around the table, and just a few turns in, your child loses — and suddenly the joy is gone. The cards are on the floor, the board game abandoned, and your child is curled up in a storm of frustration or silence. It's not childish stubbornness; at ages 6 to 12, children are navigating emotions they don’t yet fully understand. Losing can feel, to them, less like a missed point and more like a personal failure.

Recognizing this emotional intensity is the first step. Your child’s reaction isn’t about winning or losing in the obvious sense; it’s about how they define themselves through success. For some kids, losing chips away at their self-esteem. For others, it feels unfair, confusing, or even humiliating. Empathizing with those heavy feelings gives you a starting point to respond gently and constructively.

Don’t Battle the Sulk — Acknowledge It

When your child sulks, it’s tempting to counter the behavior with reasoning like “It’s just a game” or “Don’t be a sore loser.” But children, especially those struggling with emotional regulation, hear those as invalidations. Instead, try presence before instruction. Sit with them for a moment. Let the feelings exist without rushing to resolve them.

Gently naming emotions can help: “You look disappointed. That must have felt really hard.” This small gesture builds emotional literacy — a foundation your child will use time and again when approaching not just games, but school pressures, peer issues, and life hurdles. Once calm returns, that’s when growth begins.

Building a Healthy Relationship With Failure

Losing doesn’t have to feel like defeat — but helping your child believe that takes time. Reframe the word “loss” into curiosity: What did we learn? What could we try differently next time? This approach doesn’t negate the sting of defeat, but it transforms it into something useful.

This idea is explored further in this guide on teaching kids that losing is learning, which offers gentle ways to explore failure as feedback rather than personal inadequacy.

At home, you might model this during your own “losses.” Playfully get a question wrong, miss a turn on purpose, and verbalize how you respond: “Oops! That didn’t go my way. Let’s see what I can do next.” It’s okay to exaggerate — your child is watching and absorbing more than you think.

When Every Loss Feels Too Much to Handle

If your child consistently refuses to play again after losing, or becomes angry or deeply withdrawn, you’re not alone. It’s a common and complex challenge. These reactions may reveal a fear of failure or perfectionism bubbling under the surface. In some cases, it may help to read additional insights such as this article on games after a loss to explore supportive strategies at your own pace.

Over time, the goal isn’t to eliminate disappointment — it’s to help your child bounce back without viewing every loss as a catastrophe. Offering a predictable routine around game-ends — whether that’s a high-five, a short walk, or simply putting the game away calmly — builds emotional safety and trust.

Encouraging the Return to Play

What does it take to make your child want to try again? Sometimes, it’s not about making the game fairer or easier — it’s about connecting the activity to joy, not judgment. This is especially useful for kids who equate success with love or value. Try rotating between competitive and cooperative games to reduce pressure while still having fun.

Some families also find language helps. Instead of “You lost,” try “That round didn’t go our way” or “Let’s switch things up and try a new strategy.” Refocusing on process over outcome fosters resilience — a protective factor for everything from academic stress to social challenges.

Turn to Stories as Emotional Mirrors

For many children, especially those who are more sensitive or anxious, stories can be powerful tools to understand emotions vicariously. Hearing about characters who fail, try again, or even sulk and recover — gives kids a relatable lens for their own experience.

Apps like LISN Kids offer a thoughtful library of original audio stories designed for ages 3–12. With beloved characters who face setbacks and rise again, the app can foster emotional resilience without lectures. It’s perfect for winding down after tense moments or as a calming background activity. You can explore it on iOS or Android.

What If There’s Sibling Rivalry or Jealousy?

Sometimes, the frustration isn't just about losing — it’s about who your child lost to. Sibling rivalry can flare when one child consistently wins or when competition becomes personal. In these moments, your child may be wrestling with both disappointment and comparison.

Offering perspective can help. Try neutral language like, “Everyone gets a turn to win and a turn to learn.” You may also want to read more about handling jealousy between kids after a loss, which walks through ways to reduce competition and increase cooperation within the family.

Moving Forward, Even When Emotions Run High

Every child is different, but the common thread is this: emotional skills take practice. Losing gracefully isn’t innate for most children — it’s taught, modeled, and nurtured over time. By staying close, adopting a growth-oriented lens, and using stories and play as teaching tools, you can help your child develop the resilience they need not only to keep playing — but to try again wherever life challenges them.

For more strategies, you might also find comfort and guidance in this article on helping your child accept defeat or using audiobooks to cope with losses.

Above all, your patience, presence, and gentle encouragement make an enormous difference. Childhood is a long game, and you’re helping your child become a true player — one thoughtful, imperfect, beautiful lesson at a time.