Playing Together: A Powerful Way to Help Kids Build Lasting Friendships

Why Play Is More Than Just Fun

If your child struggles with school-related stress, learning difficulties, or finding close friends, it’s easy to focus only on academics or structured support. But there’s one powerful, often overlooked way to help children aged 6 to 12 thrive socially and emotionally: play. And more specifically, playing together. Cooperative play isn’t just a break from homework or screens—it’s one of the most natural and effective ways for children to build meaningful, lasting friendships.

Friendships during middle childhood are deeply important. They help children feel accepted, safe, and confident. Research shows that kids with strong peer relationships tend to have higher self-esteem, lower anxiety, and even better academic outcomes. But making and keeping friends isn’t always easy, especially for children who are shy, neurodiverse, or simply overwhelmed by school expectations.

Why Shared Activities Help Kids Connect

Children don’t often become friends from verbal conversations alone; they bond through shared experiences. Kids may not say, “You get me,” but they might feel it when building a LEGO tower together, imagining worlds in a backyard game, or giggling over a make-believe scene in the living room. These moments of co-play lower social pressure and offer natural opportunities to practice turn-taking, problem-solving, and empathy.

One way to help your child build social bridges is to create moments where play can happen in a safe, low-pressure setting. Scheduled playdates can work, but often spontaneous, cooperative activities where no one is being graded or judged offer the richest ground for connection.

Play as a Tool for Children Who Struggle Socially

If your child finds it hard to join in at recess, feels lonely after school, or avoids group settings, you may feel helpless. You’re not alone. Many parents quietly worry about their child’s ability to make friends—but these skills can grow over time, especially when play is used intentionally as a bridge.

Here are a few ways to create positive play experiences that support friendship-building:

• Pair thoughtfully: Instead of large group playdates, start small with one peer your child enjoys or feels comfortable around.
• Create collaborative goals: Co-build something—a fort, a puzzle, a shared story. When kids have a common goal, they often forget to feel anxious.
• Keep sessions brief and low-pressure: A 45-minute creative play session can go a long way, especially if your child is introverted or easily tired by social interactions.

For more ways to support kids who are still learning how to connect with peers, explore this guide: How to Support Your Child if They’re Struggling to Fit In at School.

Imaginative Play and Storytelling: A Powerful Combination

One particularly rich form of play for developing friendship is storytelling—imagining plots, characters, and adventures together. Whether it's simple role-playing or building a fantasy world, storytelling invites kids to listen, respond, negotiate, and collaborate. It’s not only fun, it’s deeply bonding.

Tools like the iOS and Android versions of the LISN Kids App offer a way to gently spark that imagination. With original audio stories and series designed for kids ages 3 to 12, children can co-listen and then extend the experience by acting out scenes or inventing their own versions afterward. It’s a screen-light way to promote shared creativity while developing comprehension and conversation skills.

What If My Child Is Shy or Withdrawn?

Children who tend to hang back or hover on the edges of social scenes often do best with quiet, low-pressure opportunities for connection. Rather than forcing your child into larger group settings, you can gently support smaller, more predictable settings and teach them what friendship looks and feels like.

This might mean modeling friendship yourself, giving your child books or audio content about relationships, or simply sharing your own experiences growing up. You can find more gentle strategies here: My Child Is Shy: How to Gently Support Their Social Growth.

Making Play a Regular Part of the Week

Between homework, extracurriculars, and all the demands of modern parenting, it’s easy for play to fall to the bottom of the list. But when seen as a way to cultivate resilience, empathy, and social intelligence in your child—not just a leisure activity—play becomes essential.

To establish play as a consistent support for social development, consider:

• Setting up routine playtimes with flexible, open-ended materials
• Limiting screen interactions that aren't collaborative
• Observing your child’s natural interests and inviting others into those experiences

And if you’re looking for ways to build steady, dependable social skills over time, this practical guide may help: Simple Ways to Strengthen Social Bonds in Children Aged 3 to 12.

Play Creates the Soil Where Friendships Grow

At the end of the day, you’re not just trying to help your child ‘fit in.’ You’re helping them grow into curious, kind, confident humans who know how to build and maintain meaningful relationships. Cooperative play—whether it’s building, imagining, or storytelling together—isn’t a distraction from academic life. It’s an investment in your child’s ability to love and be loved, to belong and to welcome others.

For more on the importance of belonging and connection, read Why Social Connections Are Essential to Your Child’s Development.