My Child Has Nightmares: What Can We Do in the Evening?

Understanding the Roots of Nightmares

There’s something uniquely heartbreaking about hearing your child call out in the night, frightened and confused. Nightmares, especially in children aged 6 to 12, aren't just "bad dreams" — they can be vivid, emotionally intense, and leave a lingering sense of unease that disrupts both their sleep and yours.

It’s important first to recognize that nightmares are a normal part of development. As children mature, their imagination strengthens, and so does their ability to process experiences through dreams. Stress at school, academic pressure, or even a particularly intense story can resurface at night as fear or anxiety. For parents already trying to support a child with learning struggles or school-related stress, it can feel like one more thing on a very long list.

The Power of Evening Rituals

Helping your child work through nightmares begins long before they close their eyes. A consistent, calming evening rhythm helps signal both the body and brain that nighttime is safe and predictable. But here’s the trick: it’s not just about avoiding screens or dimming lights—though that’s helpful too. What truly matters is how your child feels as they face the end of the day.

Shared moments of calm, where you slow down and connect emotionally, can make a significant impact. Taking even ten minutes to sit together with no agenda—just listening, maybe sharing one small thing that made each of you smile during the day—can help release pent-up emotions. If you haven’t read it yet, this guide on creating calm moments offers a beautiful starting point.

Talking About the Day… the Right Way

Many children who struggle with nightmares are also holding onto worries they didn’t get a chance to express during the day. Maybe they’re afraid to disappoint you with a low grade. Maybe they had a social interaction that made them feel small, and they don't have the words yet to explain it.

Making space for a gentle debrief in the evening helps. But instead of asking “How was your day?”—which can feel too broad—consider questions like:

• “Was there anything today that made you laugh or smile?”
• “Anything today that made your tummy feel tight or weird?”
• “If today were a weather forecast, what would it be—and why?”

These types of questions invite emotion without pressure. They also help your child externalize their inner world, reducing the chance that those feelings will play out in their dreams.

The Role of Sensory Calm

For sensitive or anxious children, incorporating sensory-friendly calm can make all the difference. That might mean turning down the lights earlier, using soft textures (like a beloved blanket or weighted plush), or playing gentle music or white noise as they prepare for sleep.

In some households, a dedicated calm corner—a cozy, clutter-free space where your child can retreat before bed—can offer immense comfort. This doesn’t have to be elaborate: even a corner of the couch with dim lighting, headphones, and a calming audiobook can become their safe zone.

Stories That Heal, Not Scare

The stories we feed our minds before bed echo through the night. Take a moment to think about the kind of content your child is consuming in the early evening—are they watching a fast-paced show? Engaged in high-stakes video games? Or are they being gently accompanied into rest by stories that reassure, soothe, and offer imaginative peace?

If your child isn't drawn to books, or finds reading a challenge, audio storytelling can be a wonderful alternative. Apps like LISN Kids, designed specifically for ages 3 to 12, offer gentle original audiobooks and audio series that calm the nervous system and spark the imagination—without overstimulating it. The app is available for iOS and Android.

In fact, letting your child choose a bedtime audio story they can look forward to each night can help reframe bedtime as a positive, even magical, part of the day.

When Nightmares Persist

If your child is having frequent nightmares that disrupt their sleep several nights a week for more than a month, it may be time to look deeper. Sometimes, needs around focus, emotional regulation, or overstimulation during the day can contribute to nighttime fears. On days when bedtime is especially tough, consider returning to these bedtime reminders that many parents find actively helpful.

And if your child seems generally anxious, fidgety, unable to wind down, you might try incorporating some gentle soothing activities during the late afternoon or early evening to address dysregulation before it shows up as sleep disruption.

Final Thoughts

No child wants to have nightmares, and no parent can “fix” them all. But what you can do is create an evening atmosphere that feels anchored in connection, softness, and emotional safety. That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect—just present, consistent, and open. Night by night, these small shifts add up.

A peaceful evening isn’t always easy to achieve, especially after a long day of work, school stress, and meltdowns over math homework. But your presence—patient, even if tired—sends one clear message: “You’re not alone with this fear. I’m here.” And for a child waking up in the dark, few things could matter more.