Bedtime Mistakes You're Probably Making — And How to Help Your Child Fall Asleep Peacefully
Why bedtime is more than just lights out
For many families, the evening begins as a race. There’s dinner to finish, tomorrow’s school uniform to find, and a math sheet still sitting unfinished on the kitchen table. By the time bedtime rolls around, everyone’s exhausted — and yet, your child is wide awake, protesting sleep like it's a punishment. Sound familiar?
If your 6- to 12-year-old is struggling to fall asleep, you're far from alone. Bedtime can become a battle when emotional, academic, and sensory overload from the school day follows them into the evening. What many parents don’t realize is that a few small shifts can make nights calmer — but there are also common mistakes that quietly sabotage the goal of restful sleep.
Mistake #1: Making bedtime feel like a shutdown, not a transition
Children thrive on rhythm, not sudden stops. Going from screen time, homework stress, or active play straight to sleep is like asking your brain to switch from fifth gear to park with no brakes. Instead of treating bedtime as an off-switch, consider it a landing runway. Start the descent at least 30–45 minutes before lights out.
That wind-down might include dimming lights, switching to calmer background sounds, and moving into activities that invite stillness — like stretching, journaling, or listening to an audiobook. Consider creating shared moments of calm as a daily ritual, not an afterthought.
Mistake #2: Over-scheduling evenings with too many “shoulds”
It’s hard not to feel like evenings are a checklist: math facts, reading logs, instrument practice. Before long, bedtime rituals are delayed, or worse — replaced with more tasks. While these activities have value, too many responsibilities after a long school day can unintentionally signal to the child that rest comes only after perfect productivity.
Instead, try protecting a small window of unscheduled time after dinner. No goals. No performance. Just a space to be. This space often becomes the most emotionally nourishing part of their day — and yours.
Mistake #3: Best intentions, overstimulating impact
We often aim to comfort our children with things like cartoons to relax, activities to ‘burn off energy,’ or even exciting bedtime stories — but not all calm is created equal. A high-energy routine, even if it doesn’t seem loud or chaotic, can keep the mind too busy for sleep.
This is especially true for school-aged children who are sensitive to stimuli. If your child struggles to settle down, look into quieter, more regulated transitions. For example, calming games, a mindfulness corner, or bedtime audio stories designed with gentle rhythms might help. Using tools like the LISN Kids App — available on iOS or Android — can be a gentle, screen-free way to ease your child into a restful state. The stories are crafted to help children wind down without overloading their busy minds.
Mistake #4: Forgetting the emotional temperature of bedtime
Bedtime is often when children decompress — not just physically, but emotionally. The quiet invites questions, fears, or leftover feelings from their day. If a day's stressors aren't acknowledged earlier, they might bubble up just before sleep, leading to bedtime stalling or restlessness.
Try creating a simple emotional check-in routine. It doesn’t need to be formal. Even five quiet minutes to ask, “What was something that made you feel upset or happy today?” shows your child they are heard — and that nothing needs to be “held” overnight.
Resources like a calm corner in the home — a space children associate with safety and unwinding — might also support this transition, especially for more sensitive kids.
Mistake #5: Skipping the part that makes bedtime worth looking forward to
Let’s face it: if bedtime feels like a drawn-out list of orders (“brush your teeth, go to the bathroom, put on pajamas, lights out!”), no wonder your child resists. What if they had something to look forward to — right at the end?
A bedtime ritual should feel like a closing ceremony of connection. It might be a short chat in the dark, a recurring story, or something unique you share only at night. When children enjoy bedtime, they stop fighting it. They even anticipate it.
Even if your child doesn’t typically enjoy reading books, don't give up on stories altogether. Consider these dialogues around stories and how to reintroduce narratives in non-traditional ways — some audio formats can unlock a richer imagination than pages alone.
Making sleep a gift, not a demand
Children need safe routines — not rigid formulas. Think of bedtime less as a discipline and more as an invitation. The goal isn’t perfect quiet or a sleep log boasting exact times, but shared rhythms that help regulate your child’s mind, body, and emotions after long, demanding days.
And for exhausted parents like you? It’s okay if it doesn’t always go as planned. Start where you are, offer small signals of connection, and trust that how your child feels during bedtime matters as much as what they do.
If you're still wondering how to ease transitions earlier in the evening, you might explore these soothing after-school activities or quiet games when their nervous system hasn’t caught up with the night yet. Every calming choice you make echoes into their sleep — and into their tomorrow.