How to Support Your Child's First Friendships: A Guide for Parents

Why Early Friendships Matter More Than You Might Think

If you've ever watched your child awkwardly navigate the playground or come home upset because "no one wanted to play," you know how emotionally charged the early years of friendship can be. Between ages 6 and 12, children are not just learning arithmetic and grammar—they're learning how to be part of a social world. For many parents, watching a child struggle to make or keep friends is deeply painful. And exhausting. You want to help, but you're unsure how much to intervene, or even what the right kind of support looks like.

Friendships at this age do more than provide playmates. They are foundational to children's emotional development, teaching empathy, conflict resolution, loyalty, and compromise. These are the very building blocks of healthy relationships later in life. Supporting your child’s first friendships isn't about orchestrating perfect playdates or smoothing every bump in the road—it's about creating a safe, observant, and gently guided home environment where social skills can bloom.

What Friendship Looks Like in the Elementary Years

From ages six to twelve, children's understanding of friendship evolves dramatically. At six, a “friend” might simply be whoever shared a toy that day. By ten, children are seeking deeper emotional connections, someone who “gets” them and who will keep their secrets. It's also during these years that kids may experience their first taste of social disappointment—exclusion, betrayal, gossip—all the tricky emotions that we adults still wrestle with.

Understanding this progression helps set realistic expectations. Your eight-year-old might bounce between best friends weekly, and that’s okay. On the other hand, if your child seems frequently isolated or is expressing ongoing sadness around social situations, it’s worth taking a closer look.

Connection Starts at Home

Think of home as a social rehearsal space. Before your child can confidently navigate friendships in school, they need daily practice with empathy, listening, and expressing needs in safe ways. One of the most powerful tools you have is modeling—how you treat others, speak about your friends, or manage interpersonal stress leaves lasting impressions.

Something as simple as regular family dinners, where everyone has a turn to speak and be listened to, reinforces respect and kindness. You can also create bonding opportunities through shared activities. Play and connection go hand in hand. Offer open-ended playtime, even with older kids, where creativity and cooperation take center stage.

Teaching Empathy and Emotional Awareness

Friendship requires empathy—the ability to understand how someone else feels and to respond with care. Yet empathy isn’t just something kids “pick up”; it needs consistent nurturing. Talk openly about emotions. Label them. Normalize them.

When your child is upset that a friend didn’t want to play, resist the urge to fix it right away. Ask, “How did that make you feel?” and “How do you think your friend was feeling?” Encourage storytelling and role-playing. This is also where quality media and storytelling can guide conversations. Audiobooks that reflect realistic social dynamics give children language and perspective for their own experiences. The iOS and Android versions of the LISN Kids app offer a wide library of audio stories designed for children 3–12, many of which highlight the ups and downs of friendship in ways that are relatable, thoughtful, and age-appropriate.

When to Step In (and How to Do It Wisely)

It’s hard to watch your child get hurt. But part of learning how to be a good friend is going through—not around—discomfort. The trick is knowing when and how to intervene without disempowering your child.

Here are a few gentle ways to step in:

• Facilitate, don’t force. If your child mentions someone they’d like to befriend, offer to host a low-key hangout, but let your child lead.
• Validate feelings. “That sounds like it was really disappointing” goes further than “Try not to worry about it.”
• Reframe social mistakes. If a friendship falls apart, help your child reflect. What felt good about the friendship? What didn’t?

And remember, not every conflict requires a solution. Sometimes, simply listening and affirming your child’s emotional experience is the most healing response of all.

Practicing Social Skills in Low-Pressure Spaces

Friend-making can be intimidating in loud lunchrooms or structured classrooms. That’s why informal, interest-based settings—like hobby groups, library clubs, or neighborhood sports—can be excellent places for your child to meet potential friends in a less tense context.

You can also encourage skills like sharing and cooperation within trusted settings. If you're unsure where to start, this guide on teaching children to share offers ideas even for older kids learning to balance personal space with social engagement.

Be Patient—Social Confidence Takes Time

If your child hasn’t found their “person” yet, don’t panic. While some kids click with others instantly, many need time—and guidance—to find their footing. Shyness, anxiety, or learning differences can all make socializing harder, but not impossible. Your encouragement, trust, and a consistent emotional connection are key allies.

Consider infusing daily routines with small opportunities for social learning. Even quietly listening to audiobooks that explore characters' relationships can foster understanding and spark conversation. In fact, studies show that audiobooks can strengthen social-emotional development when paired with parental discussion, especially when kids relate with the characters.

Above all, remember: being a good friend and finding good friends are both skills. And like all skills, they’re learned slowly, through practice, support, and a lot of love.

In Closing: You Don't Need All the Answers, Just Presence

Your child doesn't expect you to fix every social tangle, no matter how much they complain at the dinner table. What they need most is presence. Your quiet belief in their worthiness helps anchor their confidence for all the times that peers don't reflect it back. You are already doing so much. Keep showing up—listening, guiding, reflecting—and trust that, together, you're building the emotional foundation for friendships that last a lifetime.

For more on developing emotional literacy, check out our guide on nurturing empathy in children. Every small moment of connection counts.