Teaching Children to Share: A Key Step in Their Social Development

Understanding Why Sharing Matters for Children Aged 6–12

If your child clenches their favorite toy, refuses to let a sibling play a board game, or sulks after being asked to take turns, you’re not alone. Many caring, exhausted parents want to raise children who are generous and kind—but struggle when it comes to teaching them how to share. At ages 6 to 12, kids begin to navigate increasingly complex social dynamics. Learning to share isn’t just about giving up a toy—it’s about developing empathy, cooperation, and trust.

Sharing at this age becomes a social skill that mirrors real-life experiences: negotiating roles in group projects, working with peers during recess, or cooperating in sports. Parents often ask, “Is it too late to teach sharing at this stage?” The reassuring answer is: absolutely not. In fact, this is a golden window for laying a strong foundation for emotional intelligence and social maturity.

The Emotional Side of Sharing

Many children in the 6–12 age range are acutely aware of fairness. They start gauging “how much is mine” versus “how much is yours,” and fairness can easily get tangled with entitlement. Your child might understand the rule “we should share,” but emotionally, they’re still learning how to manage disappointment, frustration, and even jealousy when they actually have to give something up.

Instead of forcing or punishing, try to pause and connect with what your child is feeling in those moments. You might say, “I can see you’re upset about letting her play with your Lego set. It’s hard to wait.” This kind of emotional validation doesn’t excuse avoidance—it builds trust, and trust is the soil where generous behavior can grow.

Daily Situations Where Sharing Can Be Practiced

Opportunities to practice sharing abound in daily life. The key is to gently guide your child through these moments, so the lesson sticks—not just mechanically, but meaningfully. For example:

• Homework tools: If they’re working on a group project and need to share markers or materials, talk through how to manage that space and make joint decisions.
• Screen time or games: Timed sharing can work better than vague promises. Using timers or turns helps prevent conflicts and encourage fairness.
• Sibling conflicts: When emotions run high at home, it’s tempting to intervene harshly. Instead, model taking turns and share the “why” behind it. “When you let your sister use the controller now, you show her kindness—and next time, she might do the same for you.”

In more complex social environments—like school, camp, or playdates—it also helps to prepare your child in advance. You can explore more on how to prepare your child for positive group interactions.

Introducing Sharing Through Stories and Conversations

Children often understand social behaviors better through stories than direct instruction. When they see characters navigating dilemmas, apologizing, taking turns, or being generous—even if imperfectly—they internalize those experiences as possibilities for themselves.

If you’re looking for gentle ways to bring these conversations into your daily routine, try story-based resources, especially during bedtime or downtime. Audiobooks can be an easy way to introduce the value of sharing without lecturing. The iOS and Android versions of the LISN Kids App offer original audio stories designed for children aged 3–12, many of which center around cooperation, empathy, and navigating friendships. These stories can start conversations without pressure and help model healthy social behaviors in relatable ways.

Storytime becomes a catalyst—not just entertainment, but a window into social problem-solving. You can read more about how stories support friendship and empathy here.

When Sharing Feels Difficult: Helping Your Child Navigate Conflict

Even the most empathetic child will sometimes resist sharing—especially when they’re tired, stressed, or overwhelmed by school-related pressure. Responding to these moments with empathy and curiosity can be more effective than insisting they “be nice.”

Rather than focusing on outcomes, try asking, “What’s making it hard to share right now?” You might uncover underlying emotions: fear of losing something, anxiety about not getting another turn, or simply a bad day. Addressing the root emotion teaches your child that their feelings matter—and that sharing isn’t about fairness alone, but about managing emotions in social situations.

If conflicts with peers are a repeated issue, you may also want to explore strategies for helping kids resolve conflicts with friends.

Long-Term Growth: Sharing as a Skill, Not a Trait

A helpful mindset shift for parents is to stop viewing sharing as a personality trait (“my child is selfish” or “she’s just naturally kind”) and instead recognize it as a skill to practice. Like all skills, it can be nurtured—with time, encouragement, and supportive environments.

Remember, every small gesture counts: inviting a friend to join a game, offering a piece of a snack, or pausing to hear someone else’s idea in a group discussion. These moments build a habit of generosity and collective thinking. You can dive deeper into how to foster cooperation and respect as your child grows.

And perhaps most importantly, acknowledge and celebrate your child when they do share—even in small ways. Reinforce not with praise alone, but with storytelling of their own efforts: “I saw how you let Jamie use your colored pencils today. That showed generosity.” Children want to feel seen, valued, and understood. Sharing, at its heart, is an expression of connection—and that’s what every child, and every overwhelmed parent, is truly reaching for.

Final Thoughts

The road to sharing isn’t always smooth, but it’s deeply worth walking. As your child learns to navigate friendships, manage school stress, and balance independence with togetherness, the ability to share becomes more than just a social norm—it becomes a bridge to stronger relationships and deeper empathy. With support, empathy, and well-chosen resources, you can help your child thrive socially and emotionally—one generous moment at a time.