How to Support Your Child’s Emotions When They Become a Big Brother or Sister

A Big Change for a Small Heart

When your child learns they’re going to become a big brother or sister, their world shifts—sometimes in ways they can't yet explain. As a parent, you may be balancing your own emotions about the new arrival while also navigating your older child's questions, excitement, confusion, or even jealousy. It’s a lot for anyone—let alone a six, seven, or ten-year-old.

You’re not alone in this. Many parents feel torn: thrilled by a new baby but worried about how their older child will adjust. Some children embrace the role eagerly, others resist it, and many fall somewhere in between. And that swing of emotions? It’s all normal. Your role isn’t to prevent your child from feeling big things—but to help them feel seen, understood, and safe through it all.

Let Them Have the Feelings

It might be tempting to jump straight into reassurance: “You’ll love being a big brother!”, or “You'll have so much fun playing with the baby!” But before offering comfort, consider this—have you first made room for their emotions?

Children who feel replaced, confused, or unsure about a sibling on the way may act out, withdraw, or express themselves with anger. Instead of minimizing what they feel, try exploring it with curiosity. If your child says, “I don’t want a baby,” meet them there: “I hear that this is hard. Can you tell me more?” Giving them the language to talk about their emotions builds trust—and emotional resilience over time.

This article on why you should never minimize your child’s emotions offers deeper insight into this crucial parenting approach.

Big Sibling, Not Big Responsibility

One common pitfall is to suddenly expect more maturity from your older child. It's natural to ask them to be a "big kid" now—but if they feel like they're being pushed aside or tasked with emotional or physical duties beyond their developmental stage, resentment can quickly build.

Instead of encouraging them to “grow up,” help them grow into their new role by validating their need to still be little sometimes. Create one-on-one rituals that remind them they haven’t lost anything—they’ve gained something, too: your continued love and attention, and a whole new chapter of their story.

Help Them Express, Not Suppress

Providing outlets for emotional expression is key. Some parents use art, music, or talk-time before bed to help their child reflect on their new feelings. For children who struggle to name what’s going on inside, stories can be a gentle yet powerful bridge.

Listening to characters go through similar situations can make big emotions feel less lonely. That’s where tools like the iOS or Android versions of the LISN Kids App come in. Through original audiobooks and story series for kids aged 3 to 12, children can engage with age-appropriate characters navigating emotions like jealousy, joy, fear, and belonging—all in an immersive, screen-free format.

This type of storytelling can be a meaningful way to strengthen your child’s emotional vocabulary, especially during times of change.

Practice Patience—with Them and Yourself

Even in the best-prepared families, the adjustment can be rocky. Your child may regress—needing help with tasks they’d already mastered, expressing frustration more quickly, or clinging at school drop-offs. These behaviors are not signs of failure. They’re signals asking for connection.

In moments of stress, returning to patience isn’t easy, but it is essential. In fact, helping your child develop patience without turning it into punishment can create powerful lifelong tools for emotional regulation—for both of you.

Model this by slowing down, naming your own emotions aloud when possible (“I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a few breaths”), and pointing out positive sibling moments—even small ones. “I saw how gently you touched the baby’s toes. I bet they loved that.” This fosters pride, empathy, and purpose in the new role.

Keep Communication Open

Establishing routines where your child can share how they're feeling—perhaps a nightly “rose and thorn” chat about their day—helps normalize emotional communication. Over time, this also gives you an opportunity to notice patterns. If your child’s anxiety grows, if they’re having persistent trouble sleeping, or if school becomes a challenge, it may be a sign they need extra support.

If that's the case, you might find this article on how to understand and reassure a child afraid to go to school offered helpful parallels in managing emotional overwhelm.

Becoming a sibling is a journey—not just a title. It’s layered, emotional, and non-linear. But through your steady presence, your child learns they don’t have to be perfect—they just have to be themselves as they grow into this new chapter.

And for you? Give yourself grace. You’re guiding two (or more) small humans through untold changes—while likely managing a complex storm of emotions of your own. You’re doing beautifully.