How to Support Intense Emotions in Children: Real-Life Tips for Parents

Understanding Your Child’s Emotional Storms

If you’re parenting a child between the ages of 6 and 12, you’ve likely witnessed them in the throes of overwhelming frustration, anger, or sadness. Maybe it's homework that’s “too hard,” a classmate who “doesn’t like me,” or simply the crushing fatigue after a long school day. These emotional outbursts can leave you lost at sea—torn between trying to console your child and holding your own patience together with a threadbare string.

You’re not alone. Intense emotions are a normal part of human development during these years. Your child’s brain is still learning how to interpret experiences, control impulses, and articulate internal states. The good news? There are ways you can lend your calm to their storm—and help them grow stronger because of it.

First, Slow Down and Observe

When your child is reacting emotionally, it’s tempting to jump straight into “fixing” the moment—talking them down, offering solutions, or even disciplining behavior on the spot. But often, the most powerful first step is to stop and observe. Not to react. Not to instruct. Simply pause and take in what’s happening: their body language, tone of voice, the trigger event.

This practice models emotional awareness for your child. It also gives you a few crucial moments to regulate your own emotional response. Because the truth is, your regulation is the strongest co-regulation tool you have.

Make Space for Hard Feelings

It’s uncomfortable watching your child rage, break into tears, or shut down. And many of us were raised with the message that emotions are something to be tamped down or distracted away from. But the learning really begins when children experience their feelings without being shamed for them.

Instead of trying to quickly shift your child’s mood, try reflecting their experience:

• "It sounds like today was really hard, and you’re holding a lot right now."
• "I can see this assignment feels impossible right now. That’s okay—we’ll work through it."

Letting them feel heard can actually help their brains shift out of the fight-or-flight response and into a place where solutions might become possible.

Looking for ways to help your child better understand what they’re feeling? Try these simple activities to help identify their emotions.

When Talking Doesn’t Work

There will be moments when your child shuts down completely or refuses to engage in any kind of emotional conversation. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Some children need more time, space, or creative methods to process their thoughts and feelings.

It might help to create rituals or quiet opportunities for connection—like drawing together, going for a walk, or listening to calming audio stories. Storytelling, in particular, can serve as a bridge between your child’s emotions and their thinking brain. The LISN Kids App offers a collection of original audiobooks and series designed for children aged 3 to 12. With gentle tales and relatable characters, it creates a comforting space where kids can safely explore emotions through narrative. You can find LISN Kids on iOS or Android.

Support Emotional Regulation (Not Control)

In emotionally charged moments, many parents look for ways to help their child “calm down.” But emotional regulation is not about suppressing feelings—it’s about handling them in a way that’s safe and constructive. You can begin building regulation skills at home by focusing on:

• Routine: Predictable schedules and consistent expectations provide security that supports emotional resilience.
• Modeling: Talk openly about your own emotions. (“I felt really frustrated during my meeting today, so I went for a quick walk to reset.”)
• Practice: Use quiet moments (not emotional ones) to teach specific strategies, such as deep breathing, using a journal, or naming the emotion they feel.

This guide to teaching emotional regulation offers age-appropriate techniques for introducing these ideas to 8-year-olds and beyond.

Your Calm Is Contagious

Even if it feels like your child ignores everything you say, they’re absorbing your responses more deeply than you realize. When you meet their chaos with compassion—even when you don’t have a tidy answer—you give them something precious: the experience of being accepted during their hardest moments. That, over time, becomes a foundation of trust and emotional literacy.

And remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Continue seeking support, whether through community groups, parenting resources, or thoughtful reads like this piece on supporting highly sensitive children or guidance on what to do when your child doesn’t want to talk. You might also find this gentle primer on talking about emotions with a 6-year-old especially useful.

There will always be days when things feel messy—but those are the very moments when your child is learning they can turn to you. Hold that truth tightly. You’re already doing more than you realize.