How Play Helps Kids Learn to Understand and Express Emotions

Why Emotional Learning Matters as Much as Academic Success

If you’re a parent of a 6- to 12-year-old who wrestles with homework, school stress, or overwhelming feelings, you’re not alone—and you’re absolutely not failing. Most kids don’t come pre-equipped with emotional literacy. In fact, learning how to understand and express big feelings is just as important as learning how to read or multiply. And here’s the encouraging part: one of the most effective ways children make sense of their emotions is through something that comes naturally to them—play.

The Connection Between Play and Emotional Development

Play isn’t just a break from the serious stuff. It is the serious stuff. When your child immerses themselves in storytelling, pretend games, or even drawing and building, they’re doing so much more than entertaining themselves. They’re experimenting with roles, relationships, and reactions. They’re stepping into situations that let them explore empathy, frustration, joy, fear, and even conflict resolution.

Think of the child who pretends to be a teacher disciplining a student, or the young builder whose block tower collapses and starts all over again. These moments aren’t just imaginative—they’re emotionally educational. They allow kids to safely process experiences, both real and imagined.

Supporting Emotional Growth Through Play

As a parent, your role isn’t to structure every play session or turn every toy into a learning device. Rather, it’s about recognizing the emotional layers in your child’s play—and gently supporting them as they experiment. Here’s what that can look like in everyday life:

• Step into their world: Let your child lead pretend games and follow their cues. If they’re pretending the floor is lava or you’re on a moon mission, immerse yourself. See what emotions they introduce—fear, bravery, joy—and explore those with them.
• Label feelings without judgment: Say things like, “That monster seemed really angry! What made him feel that way?” This helps kids externalize and understand feelings more clearly.
• Share reflections afterward: After a game or creative project, gently talk with your child about what they were imagining and feeling. This helps them connect play experiences to real-world emotions.

How Stories Help Children Practice Empathy

Children may not always have the language for what they’re feeling, but stories allow them to connect with characters who do. This is one reason why audiobooks and fictional series are so impactful for emotional development. Hearing a character navigate peer pressure, disappointment, or triumph helps children feel less alone in their own experiences.

Resources like the iOS or Android versions of LISN Kids offer access to original audiobooks designed specifically for children, many of which deal gently with emotions, friendships, and challenges. Listening to relatable stories—even over breakfast or during a car ride—can spark important conversations you might not otherwise have.

What to Do When Play Reflects Intense Emotions

Sometimes, children use play to express emotions they don’t yet know how to talk about—like sadness, fear, anger, or rejection. This can show up in ways that surprise you: a child smashing playdough or constantly replaying the same upsetting scenario. Rather than interrupting or correcting, try to get curious.

It helps to remember that what may look like ‘bad’ behavior during play might actually be an expression of internal distress. If you're noticing these patterns, you might find comfort and ideas in our guide on supporting intense emotions in children.

Some children are highly sensitive, meaning their nervous systems react more intensely to experiences. In this case, even positive excitement during play can turn overwhelming. If this sounds like your child, our article on gentle strategies for highly sensitive children offers insights tailored to their experience.

What If My Child’s Emotions Seem “Too Much”?

It can be hard to watch your child cry over a homework mistake or lash out angrily after school. Emotional intensity, especially in the elementary years, is natural—but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to navigate. If your child cries often and you’re unsure why, you’re not alone. Our post on understanding frequent crying in kids explores this from a compassionate and practical angle.

Play creates room for children to experiment with different ways of calming down, solving problems, and expressing needs. How we react as caregivers—especially when we join their world rather than try to “correct” it—has a powerful influence on how they view their emotions overall.

Helping Your Child Build Emotional Skills Through Play

Your child doesn’t need a script to learn how to manage their feelings. They need space, connection, and a little intentional support. Over time, through stories, pretend play, and calming routines, they can develop tools that last a lifetime.

Consider carving out regular unstructured playtime, incorporating story-based resources like audiobooks, and gently naming emotions as they come up. If you’re seeking a more hands-on approach to teaching emotional regulation, our article on emotional regulation for 8-year-olds offers age-appropriate techniques you can start using today.

Whatever strategies you explore, know this: the fact that you’re reading this says everything about how much you care. And in the long run, your care—loving, imperfect, and consistent—is what matters most.