Why Am I Always Tired Since Becoming a Parent?
When Exhaustion Becomes the New Normal
It’s 8:47 p.m. The dishes are done (or not), your child is finally in bed (or not really sleeping), and instead of sinking into the couch with satisfaction, all you feel is... absolutely drained. Again.
If you’ve caught yourself wondering lately, "Why am I always tired since becoming a parent?", you’re not alone — not by a long shot. Many parents of children between the ages of 6 and 12 live in a constant state of weariness, not just from lack of sleep, but from something deeper and far more complex.
It’s More Than Just Sleepless Nights
Yes, you probably sleep less than you used to. But parental fatigue often stems from more than physical tiredness. It’s the emotional bandwidth you expend worrying about school, academics, relationships, screen time, meltdowns, learning differences, or whether your child is happy — every single day.
Unlike the early baby years, the middle years bring a different kind of mental load. You may be navigating a child who isn’t fitting easily into a traditional school system, or one with big feelings and a wild imagination, or struggling to complete a week’s worth of homework without a daily standoff. These things wear on you — not all at once, but cumulatively.
If this resonates with you, you may find encouragement in this guide on supporting kids who don’t fit the standard mold. Sometimes, it’s not your parenting that’s malfunctioning — it’s the system that doesn’t see your child clearly.
The Mental Load No One Sees
Part of why this phase of parenting is so exhausting is the invisible weight you carry. You notice things others might not:
- Your child's discomfort when asked to read aloud in class.
- How they crumble after every school day, barely holding it together.
- The way social dynamics with peers are becoming more complex — and harder to navigate.
You’re not imagining these things. And staying tuned in to your child’s needs, while valuable, takes real energy. Especially when that energy isn’t being replenished.
If it sometimes feels like you’re running on empty, this reflection on how worn-out parents can find new energy might light a small spark where you need it.
Emotional Overthinking: A Hidden Culprit
Ask most parents what keeps them up at night, and you’ll hear more than worries about yearly test scores. You’ll hear questions like:
- “Am I doing enough?”
- “Is my child too sensitive?”
- “Are we falling behind?”
This spiral of overthinking, even when it emerges from love, can keep your mind in overdrive long after your body begs for rest. What can help, slowly and gently, is pausing the judgment — not just of your child, but of yourself. This article explores how the labels we apply (intentionally or not) can weigh heavily on both parents and kids alike.
Rethinking Rest
Rest doesn’t always mean sleep. Sometimes, what you need is something to take the emotional reins from your hands for just 20 minutes.
One quiet, intentional way many families are finding those small windows of peace is through audio. The LISN Kids App offers a delightful library of original audiobooks and audio series for ages 3 to 12. Whether your child listens during homework breaks, before bedtime, or on the car ride home, you get space to exhale, and they get stories that open their minds and hearts.
What If the Fatigue Is Also Grief?
There’s something else underneath the tiredness, too — a quiet form of grief. Not because we don’t love our children, but because parenting often brings a redefinition of self. The person we were before parenting quietly recedes. Who replaces them?
You may grieve spontaneity or your pre-kids friendships. You may grieve the version of parenting you imagined, where things would be calmer, smoother, more fun. These are valid losses, even if joy exists alongside them.
It’s okay to say: “This is harder than I thought it would be.” And it’s okay to need help finding your way back to center. If your overwhelm isn’t just momentary but chronic, you might find this piece on parenting through the overwhelm a gentle step toward relief.
Give Yourself What You’re Giving Them
If your child disrupts during homework time, you likely stop and get curious instead of scolding. But when you feel depleted, do you show yourself the same grace?
You don’t need to have it all together. You don't need a fresh tip or a color-coded calendar. You likely just need real rest, a little margin, and a reminder that loving your child this hard was always going to cost something — but it’s not supposed to cost you.
We often say we’d do anything for our kids. Sometimes, that means doing less, pausing more, and reclaiming part of ourselves in the process. That’s not selfish. That’s sustainable love.
And if your child has a big, imaginative heart that often pulls you into battles about homework, motivation, or bedtime routines, you might enjoy this reflection on harnessing — not dimming — that creative spirit.