Tools to Help Your Child Express Emotions After a Separation

Separation Changes Everything—for You and Your Child

If you’re navigating life after a separation, you already know how much has shifted. Your routines look different. Your energy is scattered. You may be grieving a reality that no longer exists. And your child—especially if they’re between 6 and 12 years old—is trying to make sense of it all with limited tools.

During this time, school, homework, and even play can feel heavier. Their minds are full, and just like adults, kids can bottle up feelings they don’t yet know how to release. They may act out, shut down, or retreat into themselves—and as a parent, watching this can be heartbreaking.

But here’s the quiet truth: while you may not be able to undo the pain, you can help your child find ways to understand and express what they’re feeling. Here's how to lovingly guide them through this emotional terrain.

Let Emotion Be Spoken, Even When It’s Hard

Children often lack the specific vocabulary to name what they’re feeling. They might say "I’m fine" when they’re clearly not, or act defiant when really, they’re anxious or sad. Creating an atmosphere where it’s okay to feel emotions out loud is one of the most powerful gifts you can give right now.

Start small. Practice naming your own emotions in front of them. For instance: “I’m feeling frustrated today because I had too much on my plate.” This models language that they can later use themselves. Then, when the moment comes—maybe they're upset after a phone call with the other parent, or silence settles during homework—gently ask open-ended questions like:

• “Can you tell me what’s on your mind right now?”
• “What kind of feeling is in your tummy today—light, heavy, fast, slow?”
• “If your mood had a color today, what color would it be?”

Emotion isn’t always logical. Let it be messy. Let it be spoken.

Create Safe Rituals for Expression Each Day

Routines build safety. And when emotions feel stormy, kids crave predictability even more. Establishing small, daily rituals focused on emotional release can help your child feel held—even on the days when things are tough.

Some options include:

• Daily check-in conversations: Share “one good thing” and “one hard thing” from the day at bedtime or dinner.
• Drawing to process feelings: Invite them to draw what their day felt like using colors, shapes, or symbols. No judgment, no grading—just expression.
• Movement as an outlet: A mini dance-party in the living room, a walk around the block, or pretend martial arts can physically release pent-up feelings.

Incorporating tools that naturally soothe can make a big difference, especially for single or stretched-thin parents. For example, a short story from the iOS or Android versions of the LISN Kids App can provide a gentle transition before bedtime or school. Many of their audio stories lean into emotional learning and help kids feel seen—without pressure. The storytelling format also invites shared quiet time together, which can be healing in its own right.

Don’t Underestimate the Power of Quiet Time and Being There

Sometimes, what children need most is presence, not solutions. If your child is withdrawing or acting out, being physically near—without demanding interaction—can communicate volumes. You don’t have to fill every silence with words.

A quiet reading nook, a shared puzzle, or even listening to soft stories together can anchor the day. In fact, many parents have found that audiobooks can soothe stressful evenings, giving kids companionship in their thoughts while offering parents a moment to breathe.

Your connection doesn’t have to be constant to be felt. Consistent, low-pressure availability builds trust and gives your child space to open up on their terms.

Be Gentle With Yourself as You Guide Them

You may feel torn—between your grief and theirs, between work demands and dinner, between being both listener and leader. You don’t have to do it all perfectly. You just need to show up, consistently and compassionately.

Lean into small moments of joy. Plan light, doable activities—like a backyard picnic or a shared crafting afternoon. These simple breaks remind your child (and you) that life after separation can still hold warmth. For inspiration, check out simple weekend ideas for solo parents.

If your child is drawn to listening activities, explore how to combine stories and relaxation as part of your day. Even 15 minutes of calm storytelling can soften a tough afternoon or bring closure to a long school day.

Imagination as a Safe Escape

Children process life through imagination. If reality feels unstable, stories can offer structure—and even safety. When stories reflect emotional challenges, kids can see themselves in the characters, learn how others manage feelings, and ignite their own inner resilience.

You might also try creative storytelling together. Let your child make up a character who is going through a big change, and help them tell that character’s story. This method externalizes difficult feelings and gives your child a sense of control. For more on this idea, take a look at ways to spark your child's imagination when you're low on time and energy.

Final Thoughts: This Is a Chapter, Not the Whole Story

Separation is a hard chapter—for parents, for kids, for families reshaping in real time. But it is just that: a chapter. Not the whole story. Emotionally supporting your child through this transition doesn’t mean removing all pain. It means helping them carry that pain, name it, express it, and eventually, transform it into understanding.

With patience, intention, and simple tools, you can be the person who helps them write a new, braver chapter—one where they know their feelings are valid and where love didn’t disappear, it just took on new form.