Tips to Help Your Anxious Child Relax Before Bedtime

When Worries Don’t Sleep: Understanding Bedtime Anxiety

If bedtime has become a nightly struggle in your home, you're not alone—and you're not doing anything wrong. Many children between 6 and 12 experience heightened anxiety in the quiet moments before sleep. These worries might be about school, friendships, fears they can’t quite name, or even broader worries picked up from the world around them. And when the lights go down, their minds light up with questions and what-ifs.

As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to watch your child stare at the ceiling, restless and tense, night after night. You may have already tried earlier dinners, new bedtime routines, or even white noise. But if your child’s body is in bed while their brain is doing mental gymnastics, it may take a different kind of support to truly help them unwind.

Start with Connection, Not Correction

Anxiety often hides behind irritability, resistance, or even bedtime tantrums. While it’s tempting to insist your child go to bed “right now,” starting with empathy opens the door to trust and calm. Instead of saying, “Don’t be silly, there’s nothing to worry about,” try: “You seem tense tonight. Want to talk for a minute?”

Bedtime can be a golden window for meaningful connection. Consider building in ten minutes of low-pressure conversation—no advice, no problem-solving. Just listening. This alone can lower your child’s heart rate and make sleep seem less far away.

The Calming Power of Audio Before Sleep

One powerful but often overlooked tool to soothe anxious minds is story-based audio. Stories stimulate imagination while keeping the mind gently focused—rather than letting it spiral in anxious thoughts. In fact, audio stories offer a unique bridge between alertness and sleep.

Apps like LISN Kids provide original, age-appropriate audiobooks and series crafted specifically for children ages 3–12. Whether your child needs a gentle fairy tale or a soft adventure with familiar characters, the right story can offer both emotional comfort and a lifting of bedtime resistance. The LISN Kids App is available on iOS and Android.

Rituals That Reassure

Children find security in predictability. When anxiety flares up, they need even more of it. A consistent bedtime ritual—done in the same order each night—creates a sense of control and familiarity. This could include:

• A warm bath or shower
• Putting on cozy pajamas
• Brushing teeth together with a parent
• Reading or listening to a calming story
• Saying goodnight to stuffed animals or pets

It’s not about the activities themselves—it’s about doing them gently and consistently. Over time, this routine becomes a signal to the brain that it’s safe to let go.

Tips That Soothe Without Added Pressure

Sometimes, the most helpful things are the ones that require the least explaining. Breathing exercises, relaxing visualizations, or simple mindfulness exercises can help, but only when they don't feel like yet another task. Here are a few techniques you can introduce without making them a “should”:

• Teach your child to breathe in slowly through the nose and out through the mouth while counting to four. You can call it “dragon breath” or “flower breathing”—anything playful helps make it inviting.
• At night, ask your child to imagine their favorite place (the beach, grandma’s garden, a sunny forest). Take a few minutes to chat about what they 'see,' 'hear,' or 'smell' there.
• Keep a worry journal near the bed. Some kids love to write or draw their worries and then “close the book” until tomorrow.

These techniques aren’t one-time solutions—they become more effective the more they are practiced. And give yourself grace: your calm presence is already helping more than you think.

Understanding What’s Underneath

Increased nighttime anxiety might be a signal that something deeper is causing stress. Has there been a recent transition—like a new school year, changes in friendships, or a big move? Are they experiencing difficulties at school? Understanding the signs of stress in kids aged 6 to 12 can shine a light on what’s showing up at bedtime.

It’s also worth looking into when to seek more support. If your child has started asking “what if I can’t sleep?” every night, is afraid to be alone, or talks a lot about being scared without clear reasons, it might be helpful to explore whether they're dealing with more persistent anxiety symptoms or even fear around school. Naming the struggle can be the first step toward easing it.

You're the Calm in Their Storm

In the end, helping an anxious child sleep isn’t about fixing the problem of anxiety in one night. It’s about building routines, tools, and trust—consistently and gently. Even on nights when nothing works quite right, know this: your child is learning from your calm presence, your patience, and your effort to understand them.

Bedtime doesn’t have to be perfect. But made softer with connection, story, and care—it can become a time of quiet healing, instead of nightly dread.