Supporting Your Gifted Child: A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Life with an HPI Child

Understanding What It Means to Raise a Gifted (HPI) Child

If you're the parent of a highly gifted child — often referred to by the French acronym HPI (for Haut Potentiel Intellectuel) — you’ve likely felt a mix of awe, confusion, and exhaustion. While some children glide through school and social life with ease, your child may question everything, lose themselves in intense interests, or struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, or boredom in the classroom.

Having an HPI child is not just about celebrating high IQ scores. It’s about learning to live with — and love — a different rhythm of life. These children often have asynchronous development: their intellect may be years ahead, but emotionally, they’re still very much their age. And that gap can create misunderstandings, frustration, and emotional meltdowns — both for them and for you.

Why Giftedness Comes with Emotional Intensity

High intellectual potential frequently comes bundled with heightened emotional sensitivity. That means your child may cry when someone is mean at recess or spiral into existential questions about mortality before they’re even ten. These aren’t symptoms of something “wrong” — they’re hallmarks of a brain that processes the world differently.

One way to tune into your child’s world is to understand their need for depth. Whether they’re fascinated by black holes or want to know the moral implications of every character in a novel, HPI kids crave complexity. It's no surprise that many of them gravitate to deep narratives and layered stories from an early age.

School Isn’t Always a Safe Haven

Despite their intellectual gifts, many HPI children don’t find school easy. In fact, they may become disengaged, daydream through lessons, or even perform below their capabilities. Why? Because boredom is a common enemy. Traditional curriculums may not move fast enough, or they may skim over subjects that HPI children want to explore in depth.

If your child tells you they hate school, it's essential to listen with curiosity, not panic. Try to uncover the sources of their resistance. Are they feeling misunderstood? Is the work repetitive? Or could it be deeper, like an internal fear of failure or social rejection?

Supporting them doesn't always mean pushing for a grade skip — sometimes, it's about enriching their experience where they are. Offering access to stimulating resources after school can make a world of difference. For example, story-based learning tools like the iOS or Android versions of the LISN Kids App can offer your child engaging narratives that speak to their inner world, while giving you a break from finding “just the right book.”

Connection Over Correction

As a parent, it’s tempting to jump into problem-solving mode every time your child expresses frustration or anxiety. But often, what they need first is to feel seen and heard. HPI kids are often acutely aware of how different they feel — academically, emotionally, or socially. They need parents who don’t just give answers, but validate feelings.

That means slowing down to really listen. Instead of, “You’re overreacting,” try, “It sounds like this really upset you.” Rather than pushing them to “try harder” or “just focus,” make room for reflection. Our words shape their inner dialogue, and studies show that a compassionate communication style can strengthen their confidence over time. This deeper approach is explored in detail in this article on compassionate communication with gifted children.

Helping Your Child Believe in Themselves

Many gifted children struggle with impostor syndrome. They may feel like they’ll never be “good enough,” even when achieving at a high level. Others become perfectionists, terrified of making mistakes. This makes encouragement more complex than giving praise — it means helping children reframe how they view effort and failure.

One powerful approach is to praise process, not just outcomes. Instead of “You’re so smart,” try, “I noticed how hard you worked on that math problem and stuck with it.” Focus on resilience, creativity, and curiosity. In doing so, you help them internalize healthier beliefs about their abilities, as explored in greater depth in this guide about trust and self-worth.

Don’t Underestimate the Power of Play

When your child loves chess or quantum physics, you might feel pressure to keep feeding them “serious” content. But HPI kids are still kids — they need open-ended play, silliness, and downtime to process life and develop emotionally.

Unstructured play is also where creativity and problem-solving thrive. Whether they’re inventing fantasy worlds or building impossible Lego sculptures, this is more than fun — it’s essential growth. You might find helpful ideas in this article on the role of play in HPI children's development.

It’s Okay Not to Have All the Answers

Being the parent of an HPI child is an ongoing lesson in humility. You’re not expected to know everything or get it right every time. What matters is that you are present, open to learning, and attuned to who your child is becoming — beyond the label of “gifted.”

If you’re ever unsure, exhausted, or just need reassurance, remember: you’re not alone. Many parents are on this same winding journey. Stay curious, stay kind to yourself, and trust in your connection with your child — it’s the most powerful guide you’ll ever have.