My Child Refuses to Nap: How to Respond with Patience and Compassion

Understanding the Struggle Around Naps

If your child between the ages of 6 and 12 is resisting naps, you're not alone — and you're certainly not a “bad parent” for feeling frustrated or tired of the daily battle. Rest time, even for older children, can play a valuable role, especially when school stress, emotional growth spurts, or sensory overload starts creeping in. But when a child pushes back against napping, the solution isn't to force them under the covers. Instead, it's to understand what’s really going on beneath the surface — and meet it with steady, calm compassion.

Is Napping Still Necessary at This Age?

By age 6 or so, most children don’t require daily naps to meet their physical growth needs. However, restorative periods — sometimes in the form of naps — can still help, particularly if your child is navigating stressful school days, emotional fatigue, or sleep disruptions at night.

The key here is to shift the expectation: instead of aiming for a full, deep nap, think of this time as restful quiet — an emotional decompression rather than compulsory sleep. Even 20–30 minutes of downtime can benefit a child’s focus, behavior, and resilience.

What Resistance Might Really Mean

When a child pushes back against rest or seems overly energetic in those key winding-down moments, they may not simply be opposing structure. Nap resistance in school-aged children can signal:

• Anxiety about being alone in their room
• Overstimulation from the day’s events (especially for sensitive or neurodiverse kids)
• Fear of missing out
• Lack of a consistent wind-down routine
• Unclear emotional language to express how tired or overwhelmed they feel

In these moments, try to pause and observe — not just their behavior, but the context around it. Did something difficult happen at school? Are they overtired but unable to self-soothe into rest? Is the household environment feeling tense or rushed?

Creating a Nurturing Approach to Rest Time

It helps to reframe nap time as a form of self-care and connection. This might mean involving your child in co-creating what their rest time looks like. Rather than insisting on a set nap, you might offer choices: "Would you like to listen to a story in your room, or snuggle together on the couch with your blanket for 30 minutes?" Giving kids agency helps defuse the power struggle.

You might also consider incorporating a comforting ritual — something soft and familiar that cues their body and mind it's time to unwind. Sound rituals, like playing calming audio stories or gentle music, can become a powerful signal for the nervous system to stand down.

Using Audio as a Calm-Down Companion

Many parents have found that screen-free audio storytelling offers a gentle bridge from stimulation to rest. The LISN Kids App, for example, is a thoughtfully designed tool featuring original audio series and audiobooks for kids aged 3 to 12. Whether your child is resting independently or with a caregiver nearby, listening to a soothing bedtime adventure or calm narrative helps ground attention and gently transitions the mind away from the day’s noise. LISN Kids is available for download on iOS and Android.

Rethinking What Counts as Rest

Some children simply won't sleep during the day — and that's okay. Your goal may shift from getting your child to nap toward creating a daily rhythm of stillness. That could mean lying down with a favorite plushie and listening to a story, curling up with textured fidgets and breathing deeply, or simply setting a timer for 20 minutes of quiet personal space. If your child does fall asleep, let them rest — but avoid long naps too late in the day, as they can interfere with nighttime sleep. (More on this topic here.)

When Things Don’t Go Smoothly

Even with calm routines and loving intentions, there will be days when rest time unravels. If your child stirs midway through or becomes distressed, try not to rush in with correction. Instead, validate their feelings and gently guide them back toward calm. Our article on handling interrupted naps offers more concrete support for that.

Some kids may also benefit from learning how to rest independently over time. It’s a skill — just like brushing their teeth or packing a backpack — and your respectful consistency makes all the difference. You can read more about supporting peaceful, independent rest here.

Final Thoughts: Lead with Connection

When a child fights rest, our first instinct is often to command or control. But what they usually need most is connection — someone attuned, not just to what they’re doing, but to what they're feeling. So instead of pushing harder next time your child resists their nap, try sitting alongside them. Breathe together. Listen to a story. See what happens when you replace struggle with presence.

In doing so, you’re not just creating a moment of peace — you’re planting the seeds for a lifetime of compassionate self-regulation. And that, nap or no nap, is an incredible gift.