My Child Can’t Settle Down at Night: What Can I Do?

Evenings Are Hard — You're Not Alone

If your child spends more time bouncing around the living room than brushing their teeth or slipping under the covers, you're probably dealing with a common but exhausting challenge: a child who just can’t sit still in the evenings. Whether your 8-year-old is doing ninja moves at 9 p.m., or your 10-year-old is mid-monologue about space while you’re pleading for pajamas, restlessness before bedtime is a real frustration.

But behind that stubborn burst of energy is often something deeper than just “bad behavior.” The transition from a busy day to restfulness is difficult for many kids aged 6 to 12, especially those who experience hyperactivity, learning struggles, or school-related stress. Supporting your child’s emotional and behavioral needs in the evening takes more than strict bedtime rules — it requires presence, connection, and consistency. Let’s unpack what’s really going on and explore what you can set up to bring more peace to your evenings.

Why Your Child Struggles to Wind Down

During the school day, children often hold in a lot — academically, emotionally, and socially. They may do their best to stay seated, follow directions, and meet expectations even when it's hard. By the time they’re home, particularly in the evening, that bottled-up energy needs somewhere to go.

For some kids, especially those who are neurodivergent or sensitive to external stimuli, being still and quiet can feel physically uncomfortable. They’re not misbehaving — their bodies are simply telling them to move. Excess energy isn't the enemy, but how it’s expressed and when it’s released can be managed with more effective rhythms.

Creating an Evening Rhythm Instead of a Strict Routine

Many parenting books emphasize structured routines. While routines are helpful, a flexible rhythm might work better for energetic children. A rhythm still offers predictability, but it allows for emotional flexibility. It’s less about the clock and more about the flow. One key tip: start winding down earlier than you think you need to — overstimulation often builds in that hour before bed.

Consider this example:

• 6:30 p.m. – Light dinner: Avoid sugary or heavy foods that can delay the body’s natural sleep signals.
• 7:00 p.m. – Movement time: A short walk, simple yoga poses, or dancing can help transition restless energy into calm focus.
• 7:30 p.m. – Wind-down phase: Turn down lights, reduce screen exposure, and switch to quieter activities like drawing or puzzles.
• 8:00 p.m. – Connection: Read a book aloud, tell a story, or offer some snuggle time. Emotional reassurance matters just as much as tired muscles.

If you need help designing a nightly rhythm that fits your child’s energy pattern, this guide on routines and structure for hyperactive kids can offer further steps.

Soothing the Overstimulated Mind

Sometimes, your child isn’t physically restless — their mind is. The rush of school-related thoughts, worries, and big emotions can lead to an inability to settle. Your child might not be able to voice what’s bothering them, but behavior is communication. A refusal to rest may mean they're searching for control, safety, or simply a moment of undivided attention.

In those moments, helping them transition from noise to stillness without adding pressure can be transformative. This might look like sitting quietly with them while they process the day, using soft soundscapes or audio stories to create a calming atmosphere, or inviting them to take deep breaths with you (without forcing it).

Some families have found that using audio can help shift mental gears gently. One resource to consider is the LISN Kids app — it offers a library of original iOS and Android audiobooks and series designed for ages 3 to 12, helping kids ease into rest with storytelling instead of screens. From soothing adventures to gentle narratives, LISN Kids fosters imagination while reducing evening restlessness.

Channel, Don’t Eliminate, the Energy

Often, the instinct is to stop the energy: “Sit still,” “Stop running,” “Get into bed.” But denying a child's drive to move rarely works. Instead, channeling that energy through purposeful activities helps them complete the movement cycle and naturally shift to calmness. This might mean:

• Letting them use resistance (pushing a wall, lifting a heavy pillow, stretching).
• Encouraging rhythm (rocking in a chair, jumping rope for 5 minutes).
• Offering simple tools for sensory feedback, like a weighted blanket or quiet fidget toy.

Parenting a high-energy child means thinking creatively. This helpful article on channeling hyperactivity without conflict explores detailed, compassionate ways to support your child without constant battles.

Your Calm is Contagious

Finally, take a breath. Literally. Children attune to the nervous systems around them. If you're stressed, rushed, or trying to multitask bedtime while finishing inbox emails, your child will feel that energy and mirror it back to you. Easier said than done — we know. But slowing yourself down first is sometimes the most effective thing you can do.

If you’re finding that evenings are always a battleground, it may be time to gently rethink the overall expectations. Instead of hoping that your child will transform overnight, aim for small improvements and moments of connection. This deep-dive into gentle methods to calm energetic children can help inspire a more mindful and curious approach — instead of a combative one.

Tomorrow Starts with a Better Night

Evening restlessness isn’t a parenting failure. It’s an invitation to understand your child better, to build rhythms that match their needs, and to show up each day with fresh compassion — even when you’re drained.

With the right tools and a softer lens, your evenings can become less of a struggle zone and more of a shared time to reconnect, rest, and prepare for tomorrow — together.