My 10-Year-Old Spends Too Much Time on Their Phone: What Can I Do?

When the Phone Seems to Take Over

If you're reading this, there's a good chance you're worried—and understandably so. You may have noticed your 10-year-old seeming glued to their phone, preferring screen time over schoolwork, play, or even conversation. Maybe you’ve tried setting limits, or maybe you’re just now recognizing that their screen use has quietly shifted from occasional entertainment to a near-constant companion.

It’s okay. You’re not alone, and your concern shows that you care deeply. The question isn’t just about screens—it’s about connection, balance, and how to help your child grow into a healthy, focused learner. Let’s explore this together, with empathy, not judgment.

Understanding What the Phone Represents

For kids, a phone isn’t just a device—it can be a source of friendship, excitement, escape, control, and even identity. Especially around age 10, when social development accelerates and school becomes more challenging, screens offer a predictable kind of relief. Games give a sense of achievement. Messages offer a space where they feel heard. Videos provide endless stimulation, which a math worksheet just can’t compete with.

And when kids face learning difficulties or stress around homework, screens are particularly tempting. It's not that they don't care about school—they may just feel overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. The phone becomes a buffer, a way to delay the discomfort.

So before we even consider limits, we have to get curious: what is the phone helping your child cope with? What needs might be going unmet?

Creating Connection Before Correction

Rather than jumping into battles over screen time, start by observing your child—not just the behaviors, but the rhythms, feelings, and triggers. When are they most drawn to the phone? What happens right before and after? Is it straight after school? When starting homework?

Then try to enter those moments with partnership instead of punishment. You might say, "I noticed it's hard to put the phone down after school—what's your brain feeling like at that time?" or “It seems YouTube helps you relax, but I wonder if it makes it harder to focus afterward. What do you think?”

These invitations help your child feel seen and respected. They open the door to co-creating better habits, instead of locking into power struggles.

Building a Gentle Structure Around Screen Time

Once you’ve opened up communication, it’s easier to establish guidelines with clarity and kindness. At age 10, your child is capable of understanding rules and helping to shape them—empowering them increases the odds they’ll actually follow through.

Work together to identify when and where phone use makes sense—and when it doesn’t serve them. Some families find success with specific screen-free zones (like during meals or before bed), while others use routines: phone time after homework, or only on weekends. What matters most is consistency and your own modeling of these practices.

For guidance rooted in developmental stages, this guide to ideal screen time by age can help reframe what’s realistic at different growth points.

Replacing—not just removing—screen time

Reducing phone use isn’t just about saying “no”—it’s about offering a compelling “yes” to something else. This can be especially true for kids who experience learning challenges or ADHD. They need alternatives that are equally engaging, but also support rest, imagination, or learning in bite-sized ways.

Audio content, for instance, strikes a powerful balance: it gives their busy minds something to focus on, without overstimulating their senses the way videos often do. The LISN Kids App on Android and iOS, for instance, offers a wide variety of original audiobooks and audio series designed specifically for children aged 3–12. Whether your child is into mysteries, science adventures, or silly tales, there's something for their imagination to latch onto without relying on screens.

If you’re looking for more ways to make screen-free moments feel fun instead of restrictive, this guide on fun and meaningful screen-free breaks can offer fresh ideas tailored for the whole family.

Focusing on Long-Term Habits, Not Quick Fixes

It’s tempting to want quick results—especially when you’re tired, worried, and juggling everything else. But changing a child’s relationship with technology isn’t about yanking the cord. It’s about rewiring the landscape around them so that tech becomes one part of a balanced life, not the center of it.

This might look like:

• Establishing regular tech talks (weekly family check-ins where everyone reflects on their screen use)
• Creating low-pressure zones for homework—without the phone in reach
• Exploring content swaps (like how to replace YouTube sessions with enriching audio content)
• Helping your child discover the magic in other sensory activities—music, cooking, drawing, or being outdoors

And if your child resists the shift? That’s a sign of adjustment—not failure. Change brings discomfort, but you’re offering them something deeper: freedom from passivity, and the ability to choose how to spend their time with intention.

Lastly, Be Kind to Yourself

Parenting in the digital age is complex, and there’s no universal roadmap. If your 10-year-old’s screen use has gotten out of hand, know that it doesn’t make you a “bad” parent. It just means it’s time to re-align, together. Compassion—for your child and for yourself—is the most powerful tool you have.

Small steps, warm conversations, and thoughtful substitutions do add up. And if you hit a wall, you’re allowed to pause and regroup. This isn't about perfect parenting—it’s about being present for the unfolding process.

Looking for more help on making transitions smoother? This article on how to help kids step away from screens without a fight offers ideas that work across ages.