My 10-Year-Old Only Cares About Video Games — What Can I Do?
Is it just a phase or something more?
If you feel like your 10-year-old is living in a world where only video games exist, you’re not alone. Many parents, exhausted and genuinely worried, find themselves repeating the same pleas: "Please stop playing and do your homework," or "Can we go one dinner without talking about Minecraft?" What's even more frustrating is when all that effort to set boundaries feels like shouting into the void.
The truth is, video games are more than just entertainment for kids — they're social platforms, creative outlets, and even, for some, emotional escapes. That’s why it’s important to approach this issue not just by asking how much time they’re spending in front of the screen, but by understanding why they’re gravitating toward it so strongly.
Understanding the draw: Why kids love gaming
Games are designed to be engaging. They offer clear goals, instant rewards, and—unlike real-world schoolwork—they don’t judge. For a child who might be struggling academically or feeling lost in social settings, games can feel like a safe space to succeed, connect, and feel in control. Add to that the clever use of levels, challenges, and achievements, and you’ve got a reward system that taps directly into the brain’s dopamine circuits.
But just because kids are enthusiastic about gaming doesn’t mean we, as parents, are powerless. The goal isn’t to eliminate gaming altogether. It’s to restore balance and to help kids recognize when ‘fun’ crosses into ‘overwhelming.’
A reset strategy: How to gently bring balance back
There’s no one-size-fits-all formula, but here are a few approaches you can combine to start shifting your child’s focus without resistance:
1. Start with empathy and observation
Before setting new rules, observe your child’s gaming habits and what emotions are tied to them. Are they using games to take a break after school stress? Is gaming a way to connect with friends? Once you understand the role gaming plays in their life, you’ll be much more equipped to introduce alternatives.
2. Replace, don’t just remove
Simply cutting back screen time can lead to friction unless you replace it with something equally engaging. Consider activities that are satisfying on different levels — reading, crafting, building, story-based play. The iOS and Android versions of the LISN Kids App offer audio series and original audiobooks specifically designed to spark kids’ imagination and curiosity — all screen-free.
It’s a small but powerful shift: instead of removing gaming, you’re offering exciting stories in return.
3. Make space for co-play and co-decisions
If possible, play with them. Learn what they love about their favorite titles. Is it the storytelling? The competition? The teamwork? Once you’ve entered their world, you can better guide them toward healthier game choices or limit content you’re uncomfortable with. This list of educational video games can be a good place to start choosing wisely.
The power of routine and expectations
Kids—especially tweens—thrive on clarity. Vague instructions like "Don’t play too much today" can feel like moving targets. Instead, work together to craft a daily media schedule that includes:
- Homework and quiet time
- Outdoor or physical activity
- Screen time with clear limits
Many families find it helpful to align screen use with accomplishments: “Once your homework’s done, you get 30 minutes of supervised game time.” If sleep disruption is a concern, learn more about how video games can affect sleep and how to buffer screen time before bed.
When resistance shows up (and it will)
Expect pushback. Children adapt best when they feel included in decisions, so involve your child in conversations about what’s happening and why. Avoid framing gaming as a “bad” activity. Instead, talk about energy balance, rest, learning, and variety.
In moments of frustration, take a breath. One emotionally charged reaction often leads to another. If your child becomes angry or rebellious when you limit their gaming, this could signal they’re leaning on games for emotional regulation. This is where gentle modeling and open conversations about coping strategies can help.
It may also be worth reflecting on your broader screen time environment. How are phones, tablets, and devices used by other family members? Creating a household screen culture could encourage everyone to be a little more intentional. Our guide on balancing screen time and calm activities shows how to build a more mindful rhythm across the week.
This isn't about control. It's about connection.
Your child’s video game passion is not a sign of failure—not theirs, not yours. Think of it as an opportunity to learn more about your child’s interests, emotions, and needs. Instead of a tug-of-war over a controller, this can become a turning point where you both discover new ways to connect, relax, and engage. The journey won’t be linear, but every step toward balance counts.
And remember, it’s okay to ask for help, test what works, and take breaks — parenting is the long game, not a speed run.