How to Make Time for Yourself Without Neglecting Your Kids
Why Taking Time for Yourself Isn’t Selfish
It’s 8 p.m. The sink is full of dishes, your child is wrestling with tomorrow’s homework, and you haven’t sat down all day. As a parent, it’s so easy to put yourself last. The guilt creeps in any time you consider taking a moment to breathe, let alone enjoy a cup of tea or read a few pages of a book. But here’s a quiet truth: when you carve out time for yourself, even in short, imperfect slices, everyone benefits — especially your child.
Children, especially those between 6 and 12, are learning how to navigate responsibilities, emotions, and relationships. They often take their emotional cues from us. When we’re constantly overwhelmed or short-fused, our kids absorb that atmosphere. But when they see us set boundaries, recharge, and model healthy self-care, it can shape their own ability to do the same.
The Balancing Act: Being Present Without Losing Yourself
Parents often fear that taking a break means being absent. But presence isn’t measured by proximity — it’s about emotional availability. You can physically be in the room but mentally lost in your to-do list. And that version of you, even with the best intentions, is not fully present either.
Instead, the key is creating gentle rhythms in the day that allow you to step back with intention. Think of it less as “getting away” and more as “tuning in” — to yourself and then, more fully, to your child after. Evening routines can be especially effective for this. If you start introducing some consistency around bedtime, you’ll create a window that belongs to you — even if it’s just 20 minutes between lights out and the next task.
Carving Out “Me Time” in Real Life, Not a Fantasy World
Self-care for parents doesn’t require a spa day or an uninterrupted afternoon. It might look like putting headphones on for a quiet walk around the block while your child listens to a favorite story. It might be finishing your coffee while it’s still warm as your child plays independently for 10 minutes after school.
A practical trick is to align your moments of rest with times when your child is safely engaged. That doesn’t have to mean more screen time. Alternatives like audiobooks offer screen-free engagement and spark kids’ imagination. Apps like LISN Kids — which offers original audio stories for children aged 3 to 12 — can help create that space. While your child gets swept away in an adventure or calming story, you can steal a pocket of calm for yourself. iOS | Android
Letting Go of the “Perfect Parent” Trap
Some parents resist taking breaks because they're stuck in perfectionism. “If I don’t review every assignment with my child, I’m failing.” “If I don’t make the most nutritious dinner, I’m not doing enough.” But children don’t need a perfect parent — they need a regulated, emotionally available one. And that’s nearly impossible if you’re running on empty.
Establishing a few flexible but consistent routines can help lighten the mental burden. Whether it’s having a 15-minute check-in after school or a predictable, low-stress dinner routine, structure reduces the number of decisions you need to make on the fly. Learn how simple daily routines can support your well-being and help you regain mental clarity.
Teaching Independence Is a Form of Care
It might surprise you, but giving your child safe, age-appropriate independence isn’t just helpful — it’s necessary. When kids learn to occupy themselves for short bursts, tackle small tasks alone, or transition between activities without full guidance, they’re building confidence. And you’re earning a valuable minute to reset.
This is especially useful after school, when both you and your child might be depleted. Consider setting up a low-stress after-school routine where your child has choices: snack, quiet storytelling, drawing, or simply zone-out time. Meanwhile, you replenish your internal batteries. Win-win.
Building Space Together, Not in Spite of Each Other
At the heart of making space for yourself is the belief that your needs matter. Modeling this to your 6–12-year-old can have a long-term impact on how they approach stress, self-care, and balance in their own lives. It doesn’t mean constant separation — it’s about weaving your needs and theirs into something sustainable.
If your home often feels too chaotic to even try, start where you can. Shift your mindset toward gentle progress over perfection. Some days things won’t go to plan — and that’s okay. On the hard days, small rituals offer real comfort. Whether it’s a 3-minute breathing break or letting an audio story become part of the way you bring calm to a chaotic moment, it all adds up.
You’re not choosing between yourself and your child. You’re simply investing in a version of you that can show up, fully and calmly, without being stretched to the point of snapping. And that is something worth making time for.