How to Encourage Shy Kids to Speak Up: Gentle Steps for Parents

Understanding Why Your Child Stays Quiet

If your child is shy and rarely speaks up at school or even at home, you’re not alone — and neither is your child. Many children between 6 and 12 years of age go through phases where speaking out loud, especially in front of others, feels overwhelming. This can be particularly frustrating for parents who know how much their child has to share. It's tempting to nudge, coax, or even push, but the journey to confident speaking starts with something quieter: empathy and trust.

Start Where They Are, Not Where You Think They Should Be

First, take a deep breath. It helps to understand that verbal confidence is not just about talking, but about feeling safe and seen. For shy children, speaking up can feel like exposure. The best way to help is to first observe. When does your child talk freely? With whom? Listening to them in their comfort zones can reveal what makes them feel secure—and that’s your starting point.

Perhaps your child chats openly with siblings or during imaginative play. Lean into those moments. Join in, not to correct or direct, but to be present. Language grows in connection, not pressure.

Modeling, Not Fixing

You might feel the urge to ‘fix’ your child’s shyness—especially if it interferes with school participation or friendships. But children pick up on that urgency, and it can backfire. Instead, focus on modeling confident yet gentle conversation. Let them hear how you ask questions, express opinions, and manage mistakes in speech. Normalize imperfection. Let silence be okay too.

At mealtimes, for example, you might narrate your day and gently invite them in: “I felt nervous sharing my idea at work today. Does that ever happen to you at school?” That open-ended, pressure-free question says: I get it. It's okay to be nervous.

Build Words Through Play and Storytelling

Children often feel more comfortable speaking when they’re not the center of attention. That’s where storytelling and imaginary play can be incredibly powerful. Acting out a story with stuffed animals, using silly voices, or making up endings let kids practice expression in a safe, fun way.

Audio stories can also help expand your child’s vocabulary, imagination, and comfort with verbal language. Listening to stories gives them mental scripts and emotional anchors for situations they may find hard to express. The iOS and Android version of the LISN Kids app, for example, offers a library of age-appropriate audiobooks and audio series that can be a soothing and enriching part of their day. Shared listening experiences also spark conversations afterward — ask what they liked, which character made them laugh, or what they would do differently in the story.

Create Low-Pressure Opportunities to Practice

You don’t need to sign your child up for a theatre program to build their speaking skills—though that might work wonderfully for some. Often, small, thoughtful routines are more sustainable and less intimidating:

• Ask for their input: Let them help choose dinner, vote on a family movie night, or share ideas for the weekend. This invites agency and expression without a spotlight.
• Private reflections: Start a shared journal where they can write or draw about their day. Later, you can talk about it together, gently bridging writing and speaking.
• Practice scripts: Go over what they might say in common school situations—asking a question, joining a game, or presenting a project. Knowing what to expect can reduce anxiety.

Be Patient With Progress — It Comes in Small Steps

Some days will feel like breakthroughs. Others may feel like setbacks. This ebb and flow is normal. What matters is your consistent support. Praise effort, not volume. “I noticed you answered your teacher today — that took courage,” means more than “See? You can do it if you try.”

It also helps to recognize the bigger developmental picture. Some children take longer to develop verbal expression. If you’re worried your child might be struggling with speech or language, you can read our article on when mispronunciations are a concern or explore signs to watch for in late talkers. Even if your child isn’t delayed in language development, they still deserve gentle, consistent encouragement.

Support Language Growth Beyond the Classroom

Being verbal starts with being comfortable—and that includes feeling confident with vocabulary, expression, and emotional cues. Thankfully, these can all be nurtured at home. You might find inspiration in our articles on building vocabulary in daily life or discovering games that encourage verbal skills. Small moments — describing the clouds on a walk, telling silly knock-knock jokes, talking about big feelings — all build the foundation for confident speech.

Above all, your child doesn’t need to become outgoing. They just need to feel capable. Capable of having a voice, however quiet, and knowing that voice matters — to you, to their world, and to themselves.