Helping Your Child Express Emotions Through Language: A Guide for Parents

When Emotions Run High, Words Can Be Hard

Have you ever watched your child dissolve into tears mid-homework, slam their pencil down, or refuse to talk about what happened at school — only to shrug when you ask, “What’s going on?” For children between the ages of 6 and 12, big feelings often arrive faster than words can catch them. And when kids don’t have the language to express disappointment, fear, or self-doubt, those emotions can leak out through anger, withdrawal, or frustration.

As a parent, it can be heartbreaking — and exhausting — to witness this struggle. You want to help, but you may not be sure how. In these moments, your presence matters more than your ability to “fix” anything. And one of the most empowering gifts you can offer your child is the ability to name, describe, and process what they’re feeling.

Why Emotional Vocabulary Matters

Children who can verbalize their emotions are better equipped to navigate school stress, build friendships, and ask for what they need. Naming an emotion creates emotional distance — a pause that helps prevent an impulsive reaction. It also gives adults a window into what a child may be experiencing internally.

But emotional vocabulary doesn’t develop automatically. Kids need to hear these words used, over time and in context, just like any other part of language learning. And they need safe, calm environments to practice using them.

Research shows that storytelling, modeling, and reflective conversations are all powerful tools for building both language and emotional intelligence. The challenge is doing this consistently when everyone’s tired, overwhelmed, or running late (which, let’s be honest, is most of the time).

Start With Your Own Curiosity

Before offering your child phrases or strategies, it helps to shift our mindset. What if, instead of trying to get them to “open up,” we focused on wondering with them? Curiosity — without pressure — creates space for emotions to emerge.

Try saying something like:

• “I noticed you got really quiet after school today. I wonder what that was about.”
• “That homework looked pretty tough. I imagine it might feel frustrating.”
• “I see your shoulders are tight and your cheeks are red. Your body is telling us something. Want to figure it out together?”

Over time, these gentle observations help your child connect internal sensations with emotional labels — which is a cornerstone of emotional literacy.

Give Them Words Before They Need Them

It’s hard to think clearly when you’re upset — for all of us. That’s why it’s most helpful to build emotional language during calm, connected moments. Bedtime rituals, car rides, and mealtimes are great opportunities for this.

Use everyday experiences — even fictional ones — to highlight feelings. For example, while recounting a story or listening to one together, you might say:

• “Wow, that character seemed really embarrassed. Have you ever felt like that?”
• “It sounds like he was feeling nervous about talking in class.”
• “She looked relieved when she found someone who understood her.”

This kind of reflection invites your child to think about emotions through someone else’s experience — which is often less intimidating than focusing on their own.

Apps like iOS / Android LISN Kids — packed with age-appropriate audiobooks and immersive audio stories — can be a wonderful resource for sparking these conversations. As your child listens to a character navigate school struggles or tough emotions, you can gently bring up parallels in their own life or simply help them notice what different feelings “sound” like in story form.

Model What Emotional Honesty Looks Like

Kids are always observing us. If we want them to name their emotions, we need to model what that looks like ourselves. That doesn’t mean venting or oversharing — but rather describing our own emotional experiences in small, honest ways.

For example:

• “I felt really overwhelmed earlier when we were rushing to get out the door.”
• “I was so proud of you today. My heart felt really full.”

This kind of modeling communicates that emotions aren’t problems to be fixed — they’re meaningful signals. It also offers your child a vocabulary they can borrow when their own feelings get big.

Take Pressure Off Conversations

Not every talk needs to be deep or “productive.” Some children, especially those with speech-related challenges or a more introspective temperament, may find direct conversations difficult. That’s okay.

Instead of pushing for verbal expression, provide other tools — drawing, journaling, storytelling, music — that allow kids to externalize their inner world. Offering them different “languages” of expression increases the chances they’ll find one that feels right.

You can also explore prompts or phrases that actively help children communicate with less pressure, like the ones shared in this article on helping kids speak with clarity and confidence.

Keep the Long View in Mind

Emotional language doesn’t blossom overnight. It’s built day by day, through small, reassuring interactions. And it often grows in unexpected directions — through a story your child remembers, a quiet question they ask on a walk, or a picture they draw without saying a word.

By consistently offering space, words, and curiosity, you’re building something lasting: a foundation for emotional self-awareness and connection that your child will carry well beyond the classroom walls. To learn more about how language and emotional growth connect, don’t miss our guide on how age-appropriate stories help build confidence — it’s filled with more insights for the road ahead.

In this fast-moving world, simply slowing down and listening — to your child’s words, their stories, or even their silence — can be the beginning of real emotional fluency.