Helping Your Child Cope with Fear of the Dark and Nighttime Anxiety

Understanding Nighttime Fears in Children Aged 6 to 12

If your child dreads bedtime, avoids sleeping alone, or wakes up frightened in the middle of the night, you’re far from alone. Many parents face the nighttime battle where a 6, 8, or even 11-year-old expresses a deep fear of the dark or becomes anxious once the lights go out. It's frustrating and heartbreaking all at once — especially when you’re running on very little sleep yourself.

These fears aren’t just a phase or something to brush off. At this age, children's imaginations are vivid, and their growing awareness of the world can make them more prone to worry. They may not yet have the emotional tools to decipher what is real from what is imagined after sunset. Sometimes, fear of the dark is just that. Other times, it's a reflection of deeper anxieties manifesting when the world finally quiets down.

What Fear Looks Like at Bedtime

Nighttime fears may not always be expressed as “I’m scared of the dark.” Your child might stall going to bed, insist on sleeping with the lights on, or ask to sleep with you. Some children experience physical symptoms — tummy aches, rapid heartbeat, or tearfulness — around bedtime. Others might express vague worries they can’t articulate.

It’s essential to validate these fears, not minimize them. Saying, “There’s nothing to be afraid of, go to sleep,” might inadvertently make a child feel misunderstood or dismissed. Instead, adopting a calmer and validating approach — such as saying, “I see this really worries you. You're safe, and I’m here to help you feel better” — can open a window for connection and trust.

This validation doesn’t mean you feed the fear, but you’re acknowledging the emotion without judgment. For more on how emotional validation works with children, this article on validating your child's emotions is a helpful read.

Creating a Safe and Predictable Sleep Environment

Children thrive on routines — especially at bedtime. Predictability gives a sense of security, and security is one of the best antidotes to fear. Starting an evening routine that includes calming steps can help your child wind down with a sense of control over what’s coming next.

This routine could include:

• A warm bath or shower
• Quiet time reading together or alone
• Gentle breathing exercises or short body scans (check out this guide to emotional meditation for kids)
• Dimmed lighting and soft blankets that feel comforting

Also consider small changes to their sleeping environment: a soft night light, a favorite stuffy, or even a wall sticker that glows gently in the dark can give them an extra sense of peace.

When Imagination Turns Against Them

Kids between 6 and 12 are highly imaginative — a strength in daytime play but a challenge at night. Their minds can conjure up monsters in closets or strange noises interpreted as danger. This is where storytelling can become a tool instead of a trigger.

Listening to calming, imaginative stories during bedtime can help guide that creativity toward soothing, non-scary thoughts. Audio stories — unlike screens — don’t overstimulate the senses, and their gentle, rhythmic nature can help kids drift naturally into sleep. Audio storytelling also gives children a sense of companionship, especially when they’re alone in the dark.

For this purpose, consider trying the LISN Kids App, which offers original, age-appropriate audiobooks and audio series crafted to capture children’s attention in calming, imaginative ways without overstimulation. The app is available on iOS and Android.

When to Dig Deeper

If fear of the dark or nighttime anxiety persists for weeks or begins to interfere with your child’s day-to-day mood and energy, it might be worth exploring what underlying emotions could be at play. Stress about school, social conflicts, or changes within the family (a move, a new sibling, divorce) can show up at night as fear and restlessness.

Sometimes the bedtime struggle is about more than the dark — it's really about feeling alone, overwhelmed, or unspoken worry. If your child often feels sad or anxious, even outside of bedtime, this article on listening and comforting your child can offer language and strategies to open up gentle conversations.

Additionally, fostering empathy can help children build emotional resilience. Understanding their own feelings — and those of others — can reduce some of the nighttime emotional confusion. This piece about nurturing empathy offers wonderful insight into that ongoing emotional growth.

Remember, You’re Their Anchor

In those long, late hours where fear rears up and you’re tempted to lose your patience, remember: to your child, you are their constant. Your calm, consistency, and quiet presence provide the grounding they need to trust the night — even if just a little more than the night before.

It’s okay if progress is slow. What matters most is the message you give your child through your tone, presence, and care: 'You are safe. I am right here. And together, we’ll figure this out.'